I Actually Care


In my last post about not caring, I got pretty bitchy.

I don’t know if it was totally accurate, but can you really be accurate when describing yourself? Every description I make of myself has a limited scope of truth – it’s limited and altered by everything from mood and environment to the audience and the voice I’m hoping to project.

NYC street scene. I left the photo sideways, because that's more "interesting." Shot on Kodak 400.
NYC street scene. I left the photo sideways, because that’s more “interesting.” Shot on Kodak 400.

At the time of conceiving and writing that last post I was super contemplative of the general human thread. It was digging at me how certain human processes and themes and cares just seem to be taken as the norm. Granted, this is something that always weighs on me, but there are times when I feel like throwing up because we’re so dumb. In times like those, I get aggro-philosophical and want to tell everyone to wake up and smell the crackpipe. And near the end of such outrospective inner torrents, I encounter a certain measure of jaded, frustrated so-be-it-ness. Thus, sentiments such as “I don’t care.”

The truth is I do care.

I care about a lot of things, including, and especially, the future of humans. How could I not? I am supposedly human after all. I guess what’s frustrating and angering to me is the apparent ignorance of other humans to the collective character we are creating and performing as a species.

I just don’t get what we’re doing.
The things we most often talk about or debate are so fricking trivial. Like ok, sports are cool, but people get violent over sports rivalries. I mean that really happens in real life. I’ve seen it; I’ve even been a part of it. What a waste of energy and spirit. Humans have killed other humans over sports.
Sport – which means basically “fun competition,” without consulting a dictionary (ain’t nobody got time for that).

So to clarify the statement “I don’t care,” I probably just mean I don’t comprehend the passion with which humans take up certain pursuits and opinions. I don’t get why anyone truly believes they live in the “Greatest Country on Earth.” If you were born somewhere else, THAT would be the “Greatest Country on Earth.”

I don’t get why people talk so highly of money and material wealth and high rank. Too often, when it’s noted that a person is a dick, I’ll hear someone say in reply, “Yea but he makes a ton of money.” Ok
What the fuck is your point?
I have a ton of hair in my buttcrack – you want my autograph?

Money is clearly useful, but have you contemplated what it really means?
It’s a voucher for time spent.
Your employers or customers give you money because you’ve spent your time. Theoretically, wages and salaries also reflect the value of the work done, but ask a teacher how much they get paid and you’ll see how that theory is working out (teachers also lose on the time-for-money conversion). So if you want to spend all your time making money, go for it. But if you think your wealth makes you important, come to my country with a butt-hair-based economy and you’ll find out who’s boss.

I also don’t get why people are so passionate about “causes,” or at least why some people get so damn caustic about their causes. Some causes are merely trumpets for whiners (oddly similar to the function this blog holds for me). If your cause makes sense, it will catch on.
Stop yelling at me.

Besides, how do you expect me to get behind a tagline like “Save the Earth”? We can’t save the Earth, you dolt. The Earth is a giant rock that has been around at least an hour longer than humans have. You might mean, “Save the Earth’s Ability to Sustain Life”, in which case I’m in, but polluters and over-harvesters won’t be convinced by any sort of savior fantasy or moral guilt-trip. Better off educating them on how all of our shit comes from the Earth so if you take too much of the shit, or shit in the shit, we won’t be able to use the shit. Know what I mean?

Anyway, I feel like I’m getting carried away with all the words and stuff…

I care about us, I just don’t care about our bullshit.

I feel like an animal as inventive and adaptive as the human deserves a fate better than pride and greed. I can’t say what that fate should be, but even the utopian vision of a kumbaya-singing, peace-sign-wearing race of economic equals seems a better goal than whatever we’re working toward right now.


Also published on Medium.

4 thoughts on “I Actually Care

  1. One thought I have is — not caring will always be easier than caring. That’s probably why most people don’t care .. about the “big problems,” that is (or at least why they don’t put in a serious effort toward solving them, even if they can get past the first hurdle of recognizing they’re there).
    Part of this could be because — if I care, and I sacrifice my time to try to make a difference — it only matters if lots of other people do the same. If I make the sacrifice and put in the effort to make a change, but no one else gives a shit, well then it all goes to nothing (and I end up the big loser). So what could really be useful, I think, is having well-designed social structures of cooperation in place — so that people can all care together (or, at least, that’s the idea. Maybe we force them). What these structures or social systems actually look like (and getting them to work properly) is a much tougher problem … and I guess that’s the reason I’m going to grad school …

    1. Totally agree, Gar. Not caring is easier, and it’s tough to care when you think it’s pointless.
      I think my angle is that caring in the sense of blind commitment can be detrimental when it creates inflexibility. If you care less about norms and pride, it becomes easier to envision the potential for a better human character that can create better social systems.
      So I guess I’m trying to effect change/progress by encouraging clearer thought first.

      1. I like your angle, Mick. That kind of open-minded thinking, which we could all certainly use more of, is really only possible when we *stop caring* about the silly, same-old conventions… sports, norms, pride, right-and-wrong, et cetera .. as you say,

What are your thoughts?